Executive Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement

Showing posts with label dick cheney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dick cheney. Show all posts

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wiffle Ball, Bad Poetry and Who Is Our President?


Besides the great expense attributed to the inauguration, bad reviews (1, 2, 3) of the inaugural poem by bloggers and magazines alike, Barack Obama added a new asterisk to his name when he flubbed the oath. His flubbing was not his alone, as Chief Justice John Roberts sent him in the wrong direction.

So he did a do-over. We used to do those playing Wiffle Ball in the backyard, when a play was in question (Mrs. Kirk's garage were most often the cause, with interesting bounces off the roof). It safeguarded the quality of the forthcoming plays, especially the final score.

No one really thought Obama was not president, but technically, there may be debate. Was George W Bush still in charge even though it was past noon by the time the oath was started (it is supposed to happen simultaneously)? If so, did this bristle the hackles of Bushaters (grace, they say, is for Obama, not for them)? Was Joe Biden president, after having by successfully sworn in a few minutes before? Did Dick Cheney's wife call, and ask if she could still eat lunch at the White House?

Ultimately, the oath is all pomp and circumstance, as was the rest of the day's fanfare. Barack Obama, no doubt, would rather skip all of the 'praise for the day' silliness and get right into resolving our economy, war and choosing a White House dog. Really. Serious stuff going on, and, as big parties are new to inaugurations during wartime, Obama probably felt forced into all of it by his handlers.

If a national crisis existed during the inauguration, Obama would have been called. If we went to war, or our jobless percentage increased, or a gay man needed to get married, of course Barack Obama would be asked to decide.

Obama retakes oath of office
President Obama retakes the presidential oath out of "an abundance of caution." » Find out why

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Cindy 'Pizza Mom' Sheehan Protests Rose Bowl, Hits on George Bush

At great odds with the aggressive style of football between two of America's top universities, Cindy Sheehan has joined a throng of anti-footballians to protest this year's Rose Bowl.

Tournament of Roses President CL Keedy responded to Pizza Mom Sheehan by saying, "Her own son played football, but was tackled. Sad? We think so too. This America's great sport of warriors, and he was not much on the field. We understand he was cut from the practice team in junior high. Humiliating? Yes, but football is not for bench warmers."

Sheehan argued that if she could just meet with Keedy, she could explain to him to errors of football. She camped out for a few weeks in front of his office, but Keedy wasn't there. He was watching the Rose Bowl cheerleaders in his 'secret place'.

"If controversy like this diminishes the positive impact of the Rose Parade, it would be of concern," Pasadena Mayor Bill Bogaard said. He continued, "But who is kidding who here is Cindy. We know she's just trying to scare up some tickets any way she can. Her bookie suggested if she was at the game, the other team, the one she is betting against, might lose."

Anne Coulter piped in, "Cindy can have my tickets. The University of Illinois has asked me to suit up, and those liberal University of Southern California Trojans are a bunch of pansies. I'm a Fighting Illini now, baby."

George Bush was asked about his thoughts of Cindy's participation in this protest.

"Cindy and me. We go way back. Not as far back as Bill and Monica, but she wanted to jump my bones back at Crawford, TX," said George.

"See, now, Laura and I aren't into that kind of thing. Just because Jenna and Barbara are living on the wild side doesn't mean Laura and me swing that way. We're United Methodists, you know, and we're conservative.

"But, hey, I'm a compassionate conservative. I think my buddy Dick Cheney is around, and he's said he thinks Cindy's pretty hot. He's into wrinkly mommas."

Anti-war and human rights activists to protest at Rose parade

Rose Parade