Executive Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Nobel Prize, Anyone? Barack Obama Accepts Prize Before Job is Done

Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. When his people submitted his name to The Committee, they never expected he would win. They just wanted him to look like a peaceful politician. They wanted to market him as the antiBush. Winning presents a problem. Very rarely does the winner stand with so much conviction as to reject the award, and Obama took the prize humbly.

He knows he has not earned anything yet. We are still at war in the Middle East, fully intending to send more troops. He is no pacifist, much to the chagrin of many of his followers. Rather, he sees what Bush saw: a messy problem requiring a messy solution. Unlike Bush, Obama is working hard to present timelines for pullout, and the proof there will happen or not. Hopefully, our troops will be pulled from harm's way soon. Hopefully the job will be done. If not, Obama, in accepting the Nobel Prize today, will have an awkward situation. No doubt careful responses to the war-peace paradox, especially as he gives his speech which will be published across the internet (OK, except for China, North Korea and Iran, three countries dreadfully afraid of free speech.)


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Whore Expert Democrat Rep. Alan Grayson Thinks He Was Wrong

Democrat Rep. Alan Grayson, an apparent expert in whores, decided to call Fed adviser Linda Robertson a "K Street whore."

He apologized.

Erin Matson, a vice president at the National Organization for Women, think the term"absolutely inappropriate." It was not clear how NOW defines it own skillset.

Grayson is the foot-in-mouth specialist who said Republicans want patients to die quickly. Naturally, President Obama disagrees.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Barack Obama Rejects the Nobel Peace Prize (repost)

In a brief, but eloquent speech, President Barack Obama turns down the esteemed Nobel Peace Prize.

Realizing the award's intrinsic deficiencies that ruined the musical career of U2 front man and 2008 winner Bono, who ever after turned out songs no one liked, and of Yasser Arafat. Arafat, famously peaceful and anti-military until his 1994 award, but then turned into a warmongering beast. The President wisely knew he was not capable of pressing through the tests such an award can offer. He was not as strong as Jimmy Carter, also a US president, who accepted the award in 2002, and since then has always said the right thing.

The President recognized he was not being awarded by just the Nobel committee, but a vast legion of interspatial congregation of lords.

"Lord Lightyear, Lord Spock, Lord Mork, Lord Jar Jar, and Lord Kal-El, I am honored. Citizens of the universe and of that vague place called heaven, I cannot in good faith accept this cherished prize so long as we are at war, and so long as the Peace Mother lives."

He then whispered something in Neptunian to indicate his oneness with the universe, "No-Salami Yukkum", meaning: "Peace be upon plants and animals, who are our gods." It was also an acknowledgement to the universal commission for the ethical treatment of plant life. Up until the Obama Administration, the vegan and vegetarian community, teamed up insidiously with the evil omnivorians, terrorized the vegetable world, methodical ripping plant life from their native land and devouring them. Then, a quiet mineral eater spoke with a loud voice, "Remember the lichen," and protests ensued, almost destroying all life in the known interplanetary stellar regions. The President's nod continued as he celebrated his prize rejection by lifting up a glass of purified hydrogen-oxygen drink and breaking nutrient bread, a tasty nitrogen bar dipped in a carbonic sauce.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Yes We Can, But We Shouldn't: Grayson Spits on Obama's Goal of Unity

President Obama sloganized his campaign with 'Yes We Can." Some argue he was saying, "Yes, we can elect a black man into the White House." Others think he was saying, "Yes we can work as one country without partisan backstabbing," as was the case while President Bush held the office.

Not newbie Rep. Alan Grayson. He thinks Republicans are out to see peeople die.

According to the Associated Press, "If you get sick, America, the Republican health care plan is this: die quickly," he said. "That's right. The Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick."

Mr. Grayson wants to rephrase Obama's slogan to, "Yeah, I think we could, but given my inexperience in Washington and general hatred of Republicans, no we shouldn't."

Am I exagerating? Of course I am.

Still, Mr. Grayson won't apologize. Not famous for liberal tolerance, he is what continues to divide America. Joe Wilson is no charmer, but at least he apologized.

For those following Sarah Palin (a Democrat and Republica hobby alike, apparently): her book is ready.

Monday, September 14, 2009

WWBD? What Would Barack Do?

  1. Major wars with Afghanistan and Iraq, with taunts by Osama bin Laden.
  2. Massively controversial push for socialized medicine in the name of health care reform.
  3. One year anniversary of Lehman Brothers collapse.
  4. An economy wrecked with unemployment.
  5. Obama's popularity plummeting.
  6. 9-11's eighth anniversary.

Which should President Obama focus on this week? You choose. Only one gets focus. Lip service to the rest.

Then, prepare a big inspiring speech that liberal college students will listen to like girls at a Beatles concert, old liberals will cheer like at a Tom Jones concert, old conservatives will jeer like at a Kanye West concert, and young conservatives will react and join the Young Republicans club at their university.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Kennedy is Dead

With Ted Kennedy's death, President Barack Obama is running solo. Not to say Kennedy was all he had. Far from it, but Kennedy's support, both spoken and merely by his presence, carried plenty of weight.

It is sad news to all. Liberals lost a major voice, but conservatives recognize he was bigger than his views and was an iconic American.

As the media goes, I expect a flurry of politicians to say nice things. Some are sincere, and some realize they maybe get face time of cable TV. It will pass, and after some kind of memorial, he'll just be a memory.

His time had really passed. It likely ended when it was obvious he'd never be president. He still lead Massachusetts politics, and, in many ways, was the strongest voice in liberal politics. Unlike Hillary Clinton, he never was shrill. Conservatives who disagreed with him believed him, and knew him as a sharp thinking man, much as Newt Gingrich is respected by liberals.

RIP, Ted Kennedy

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Obama's Solution to the Economy? Listen to George Bush

Is President Obama taking tips from President Bush on how to resolve our economic troubles? You betcha. By picking Ben Bernanke to be Federal Reserve Chairman once again, Obama is telling Democrats, "When you chose me, you chose George Bush's solutions."

Weird, huh?

Friday, July 31, 2009

Lip Readers Hired at the White House Bar Learn Facts

Official White House paparazzi lip readers have transcribed this event kindly for us. Only a few words were heard.

President Barack Obama: Thanks for coming guys. I want you to know that at the White House, we, especially the Democrats, are down to Earth blue collar folks. (aside: Charles, could you bring us another?)

Henry Louis Gates: Thanks, Barry. We're old friends. You and I have shared a few good times.

BO: That we have. Hehe. That we have.

Sergeant James Crowley: Yeah, thanks Mr. President. As you know, I'm a Boston cop. We always vote Democrat. We really never consider anyone else.

BO: Glad to hear it. Hank, how's your book coming along?

HLG: Fantastic. Thanks to this whole episode, I'll be hitting the speaking circuit at a very sweet fee. This will help me with my summer home. How about you, Jimmy?

JC: No summer home. I'm a cop, remember.

HLG: You'll get one someday.

JC: How?

BO: Audacity of hope man!

JC: Hope? Based on what?

BO: I'm the president. I can take care of you.

JC: Running in 2012?

BO: Probably. How can I lose? Palm of my hand, baby.

HLG: I thought about running.

BO: You could use a few laps. I didn't want to say, but you are looking like a fat cat.

HLG: I mean for the presidency.

BO: Against me? You couldn't even beat Sarah Palin. Haha! I kicked Hillary down too.

JC: Thanks for that.

BO: Voted for me?

JC: Well, not so much for you, but against her.

HLG: Here! Here! And I thought people were just voting against Bush. Oh, man, this is good brew. Whoa, JC, did you do that? Man, that's nasty.

JC: Not me? Prez?

BO: Um...

JC: Dude.

HLG: Speaking of stink, what can we do about cash for clunkers? I have a 2008 Lexus I need to dump...

JC: Oh, that's yours? It is parked illegally out front. I gave you a ticket.

HLG: Great, There you go. Keeping the black man down! Do you know who I am?

BO: You don't mind if I have a smoke do you?

Friday, July 24, 2009

Obama Pulls a Bush Cowboy Move

Saying the police are stupid alienated a lot of good cops, but such was what President Obama did last week when saying, "The Cambridge police acted stupidly."

After enjoying a honeymoon by the media, Obama, having gone cowboy on the cop and inserting himself into a local police matter, is watching his popularity go down a notch. No way is he suffering, but his approval ratings are essentially what President George W Bush's were at this point into his presidency.

Obama will rise again, it is reasonable to think, as the Gates fiasco is nearing an end and he more or less apologized for hos involvement.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Obama May Not Meet Guantanamo Closing Promise

The realities of the White House are being discovered by President Barack Obama. He is finding promises are easy to make. He didn't know. How could he know?

This isn't to say his goals were bad. The process is far more complex than he realized.

Will there be an outcry by antiwar supporters or cheering on by prowar people. Not likely.

Closing Guantanamo easier said than done
BBC News - Paul Reynolds
US President Barack Obama's promise to close Guantanamo Bay a year after taking office is proving more complex to achieve in practice than it was to announce in principle.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Sarah Palin Steps Down as Governor of Alaska

Though her opponents have shrilly decried her ideas and her dialect, Sarah Palin might be sayin', "You betcha," to skeptical Obama supporters when it comes to 2012. She steps down this month as governor of Alaska.


Obama Books

Has Barack Obamania died? No. He's still charging. Bringing hope now to Afghanistan (Afghanistan 'surge' will test Obama's military muscle‎)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Tobacco Addict Obama Expected to Sign Anti-Smoking Bill

President Obama openly admits he is an addict. While in some places, tobacco addiction is still socially tolerated, Obama recognizes, this is not the norm. Most Americans understand tobacco smoke can lead to the death of smokers and those around them.

As such, Obama is trying to be politically deft while balancing the line of hypocrisy.

Ironically, President Bush, a reformed smoker who quit after many years and became an example of physical health, opposed related bills.

Hopefully our president will step up and be a man about his addiction and quit. Otherwise, in everything from MSNBC to FOX to blogs like mine, an asterisk will be posted next to related discussions. Meanwhile, those who look at Obama as a man worthy of following may be influenced to smoke.


As the article says, "The law allows the FDA to reduce nicotine in tobacco products, ban candy flavorings and block labels such "low tar" and "light." Tobacco companies also will be required to cover their cartons with large graphic warnings."

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

PETA Cheers on Murder of Fly on National Television

PETA Cheers on Murder of Fly on National Television? Of course not. Here's what they said.

George W. Bush never killed a fly with such premeditated glee, nor scooped up the carcass so mildly.

What matters is how much traffic this blog gets for such useless news. Me? I'm trying to draw traffic, make a few bucks while sorting out the silly media softball travesty delivered about Obama. This will hurt him in the long run. The future will call him the Emo President - that is, not because he's an emo boy (I believe Obama has quite the spine), but because the media is only providing easy news about him.

(Facebook users, click here to see the video)

Monday, June 15, 2009

Iranian (President) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Has Protestor Killed

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not a well man.

Besides being a first class loud-mouth thug, apparently he rigged his own election. For all the detractors George W Bush had, most Americans still respected that he won the 2004 and 2008 election, each with record numbers. Only the most partisan American thought otherwise. In Iran, however, Ahmadinejad claimed victory much as Saddam Hussein once did in Iraq. No one seriously thinks of Iran as a democracy.

To help ensure 'victory', Ahmadinejad had his military kill a protester.

Obama will have his hands full.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Nutjob Pyongyang Mouths Off

This goofball leads a country. Barack Obama, America's current is learning what George W Bush warned the world about.

North Korea warns Seoul of nuclear war following UN sanctions
Pyongyang also vows to continue atomic weapons programme, as South's president leaves for talks with Obama in Washington
Associated Press in Seoul
North Korea has warned of a nuclear war on the Korean peninsula while vowing to step up its atomic weapons programme in defiance of new UN sanctions.

Today's Rodong Sinmun, a state-run North Korean newspaper, claimed the US has 1,000 nuclear weapons in South Korea. Another state-run publication claimed that America had been deploying nuclear weapons in Japan as well.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Obama Bring Religion into Politics, Follows Bush and Clinton

Like his predecessor President Bush, US President Barack Obama intentionally brought religion into White House and international politics in highlighting the need for religious tolerance. Obama follows the footsteps of Bush and Clinton in declaring there must be freedom for all to worship as they want.

So far, it is seen as a speech full of promise, but all sides are waiting to see what reality looks like.

More on his Cairo speech from the Guardian in the UK.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

President Obama Capatilizes on Abortionist's Murder

George Tiller gets killed by a murderer. It happens that Tiller was also an abortion doctor who focused on children just before birth. Late-term abortions -- very controversial even among the most ardent of pro-choice believers -- are what Tiller did best.

President Obama recognized that this will given him an added edge promoting his own prochoice beliefs through the press. While he no doubt realizes the murder is wrong on every level, this will help him look on the ball regarding his Supreme Court choice. Strangely helpful timing.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Predictable Sonia Sotomayor is Obama's Supreme Court nominee

No surprise here. President Obama stuck to his promise to choose a justice based less on legal prowess, and more on empathy. She's no legal hack, but she also will appeal voters interested in gender and racial issues. As a woman and a Latina, she is one-stop shopping for the diversification crowd.

The media appeal is fantastic. Few people know anything about her, and the usual choosing of a justice based on abortion views is still at play. Obama, naturally, was unwilling to choose a prolife justice, and likewise, was only willing to choose a prochoice one. Here, he gets everything he wants.

Will she be confirmed?

Sonia Sotomayor is Obama's Supreme Court nominee

Friday, May 22, 2009

President Bush Screws Up Robert Gates' Name

As reported in the conservative website, the Huffington Post, President Bush found himself apologizing for his mistaking Robert Gates for Bill 'Water' Gates. Rush Limbaugh chuckled uneasily, not sure if that warmth running down his leg was a thrill or something else.

The liberal rags, from FOX News to the Red State Guns Gazette, all declined the opportunity to castigate a sitting president on such trivialities. If President Bush were standing when he said this, all bets would be off, and snark season would begin.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

President Obama Allows Personal Bias To Influence Supreme Court Choice

Daring to do what George W Bush dared do, Barack Obama is allowing his personal feelings influence his decision in his Supreme Court choice.

Will Obama's choice be led by the so-called heart, or by legal objectivity?

"I view that quality of empathy, of understanding and identifying with people's hopes and struggles, as an essential ingredient for arriving at just decisions and outcomes," Obama has said.

Obama's court search influenced by his own life

Friday, May 8, 2009

Obama's 9-11 Reenact Floods Money Into Economy

People are upset about the flyby. Not noted until now was that a third of a million bucks were redirected from taxpayers into the economy. Deftly securing an opportunity to do his part to boost cash flow in the United States, and put his military people to work (with the Middle East conflicts and Iraqi War resolved, we have too many soldiers goofing off).

Showing off the latest of planes, the newly elected president sent a message to the terrorists of the world, "We can fly around New York better than you can. See, we didn't hit any buildings. You idiots hit two."

Way to go President Obama!

Presidential plane's photo op over New York cost as much as $357000
Presidential plane's photo op over New York cost as much as $357,000
Defense Secretary Robert Gates today apologized for the incident in a letter posted on Sen. John McCain's website.
By Michael Muskal
11:22 AM PDT, May 8, 2009
A publicity stunt that terrified many New Yorkers still leery of another terror attack involving low-flying aircraft cost as much as $357,000 in taxpayer funds to stage over Manhattan, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said today.

The flyby by a plane used as Air Force One and two other Air Force craft shocked commuters in Manhattan and New Jersey and was condemned by furious city and state officials.

In a letter released today, Gates apologized for the incident. The letter was posted on the Senate website of John McCain, the ranking Republican on the Senate Armed Services Committee. McCain has called the incident an "Air Farce One photo op." Gates in his letter said the cost of a jumbo jet that is used as the president's plane was estimated between $300,658 and $328,835. The cost of two accompanying F-16 jets was $28,177 for a maximum total of $357,012.

Monday, April 13, 2009

President Obama Authorizes Killing of Pirates

President Obama's stern action made heroes of snipers who deftly shot pirates holding captive the captain of a ship. A firm and decisive American military trio - Navy SEALS - saved the lives of hostage Richard Phillips and USS Bainbridge captain Frank Castellana.

Well-done, Mr. President. And, to the snipes who are not named, we salute you.

Snipers seize moment to kill pirates, free sailor

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Obama Taxes His Addiction to Red State Cigarettes

One of the most famous nicotine addicts in the western world is about to pay for his habit. He is volunteering to do it. No big deal to him, as he is also in the top income bracket.

Yes, President Barack Obama is staring right into a cigarette tax.

it will be good. It might force addicts otherwise too weak to quit to find the strength. No one has ever said, "Smoking will improve your life." Obama himself has admitted he wasn't man enough to quit. Whatever great gifts he brings to the White House, his addiction to smokes isn't one of them.

If a few more people quit, we'll see slightly better production at work. Fewer sick days, fewer smoking breaks, and generally better lifestyles. Or, we see the tax income. Also good. Cigarette taxes, like gambling taxes, benefit the Mother State one way or another. Mother is there to help us.

Smokers face a hit as tobacco taxes spikeBy RICARDO ALONSO-ZALDIVAR, Associated Press Writer Ricardo Alonso-zaldivar, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON – However they satisfy their nicotine cravings, tobacco users are facing a big hit as the single largest federal tobacco tax increase ever takes effect Wednesday.

Tobacco companies and public health advocates, longtime foes in the nicotine battles, are trying to turn the situation to their advantage. The major cigarette makers raised prices a couple of weeks ago, partly to offset any drop in profits once the per-pack tax climbs from 39 cents to $1.01.

Medical groups see a tax increase right in the middle of a recession as a great incentive to help persuade smokers to quit.

Friday, March 27, 2009

President Obama: Warmonger? (Say it ain't so!)

While no one ever considered President Obama war hungry, he is showing he is less of a pacifist as so many hoped. This is not a man who looked at the secret reports and said, "Yeah, we'll pull out."

Obama to Boost Forces in Afghanistan, Set Benchmarks Bloomberg
By Kim Chipman and Tony Capaccio March 27 (Bloomberg) -- President Barack Obama plans to send 4000 more US troops to Afghanistan to train local forces and set benchmarks for progress in battling militants there and in Pakistan, administration officials ...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Jay Leno Plays the Straight Man, Barack Obama Does Not

In these days of manipulative media, from Rush Limbaugh to Jon Stewart, one thing is sure: If you want to be liked, you need to get on a talk show.

As some scrutiny finally kicks in by more serious media, Barack Obama campaigns on Jay Leno's show. Almost as good as Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan, both masters of mugging the camera, we are seeing a new side of Obama: Love me tender.

Viewers might remark how much they love Obama, or are finding their love renewed. Drool? Droll? Either way, funnyman Jay Leno was clearly the straight man here tonight. He bent over backwards to appeal to Obama.

To Obama's credit, he is likable. John McCain lost the election, aside from Republican-hate and/or legitimately different views, because he was not as good looking or charismatic. It was Nixon vs Kennedy all over again. And Obama is smooth on camera. He has that cigarette commercial flair.

When the gloves finally come off, and intelligent deconstructions of what Obama is doing finally are not considered 'hating on my man', it will be interesting. When ObamaLove (t-shirts) moves to maturity, and his unified splendor runs cold (different t-shirt), what will have happened? A better economy? Freedom for Iraqis and the end of a war? Let's hope so.

How long before Obama's millions of lovers chase another man, and President Obama can get down to being president? He's bogged down by all of this, as necessary politically as it is. It could be worse, but John Kerry (who is much less funny) quit early.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Barack Obama Hasn't Said Anything Stupid (Yet)

President Barack Obama is not yet on the Top 10 Unfortunate Political One-Liners list. Democrat Bill Clinton is on it twice, Republican George W Bush is not even on it, and Republican Richard Nixon leads with the worst line.

Hopefully, Obama will remain off the list. He will say stupid things. How he responds is key. He has yet to show the quick humor of Ronald Reagan, and comes across very serious. He'll need to quickly say, "Oops," and move on.

While George W Bush was not a polished speaker like Obama, his challenges were slight - the wrong word, or poor pronunciation. With Clinton and Nixon, it was about lying.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Barack Obama Mixes Religion and Politics, ala George Bush

As expected, the media is jumping on one of the great double standards in politics: religion. President Barack Obama is doing what many Democrats despised and harangued George Bush for promoting -- the Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships
The Democrat's inaugural pomp was steeped in prayer, and one of his first proclamations included a shout out to "an awesome God." Last week, Obama used the platform of the National Prayer Breakfast to unveil a new-look White House Office on Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships that features a team of policy advisers from both religious and secular social service circles. Most are ideological allies, but not all.

More War Is the Answer, Says President Barack Obama

In a move that may be somehow justified by peace protesters who thought John McCain was war hungry, and that Barack Obama sought to pull troops away from the Middle East, Afghanistan will be seeing 17,000 new young men and women on the firing line.

While McCain may have done the same thing, that President Obama is adding 50% more troops will exhaust the minds of the sort who used to carry signs in front of President Bush's Crawford, TX home for the same reason.

Simply put, as it relates to Afghanistan, President Obama is pro-war.

Putting Stamp on Afghan War, Obama Will Send 17,000 Troops
“The president is committing these troops before he’s determined what the
mission is,” said Tom Andrews, director of the coalition organization Win
Without War. “We need to avoid the slippery slope of military escalation.”

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Brilliant Deflective Apology by Barack Obama

Brilliantly deflecting trouble by acknowledging his screwed up. As he said, not realizing the tax problems of his appointees is an honest mistake. He didn't fully research the candidates, and they came up sour.

It also allows him to apologize. George W Bush came across non-apologetic often. As Obama apologizes, his supporters can say, "He admits when he is wrong." It also gives him cachet so that when he chooses to place blame elsewhere, he will have this to point to.

As a media move, incredible. It hardly implies he is not sincere, but he is deft politically, and knows how the media wants to present him.

Sincerity is not seen in a moment, but from a distance, over many moments. In a year, we'll know. For now, the benefit of the doubt.

Obama Admits Embarrassing Day for Administration
President on Tom Daschle: 'Self-Induced Injury That I'm Angry About'

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Barack Obama Admits He is Not a Unifier

Pittsburgh Steeler fan Barack Obama picked the Steelers to win over the Arizona Cardinals. Maybe he was just trying to tick off John McCain fans?

He could have gone the route that Hillary Clinton used to go, claiming she was a northsider, and therefore a Chicago Cubs fan, while cheering for the Chicago White Sox when they were in the World Series? The truth is, Hillary was no northsider, but grew up in posh Park Ridge, a northwestern suburb, and that she cared nothing for sports.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Barack Obama Supports Rush Limbaugh

News? Not really.

Rush Limbaugh, no longer the new kid on the block, received great support last week from President Barack Obama.

"You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," Obama said.

Just a few words caused great interest in Rush Limbaugh. Presumed a silly has-been by many liberal supporters, Obama's nonpaid endorsement is bound to spike Limbaugh listenership.

The question was, "Does Rush Limbaugh influence politics?"

The answer? President Barack Obama thinks so.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Barack Obama Pays for Abortions

How is he paying for abortion? Today, he decided it was OK for abortion businesses like Planned Parenthood to get money from the government.

"President Obama signed an executive order Friday striking down a rule prohibiting U.S. money from funding international family planning groups that promote abortion or provide information, counseling or referrals about abortion services."

One group said abortion is "about basic health care and well-being for women and children." Which children? No one thinks this includes the health of young girls who are victims of abortion.

Obama reverses abortion-funding policy
Story Highlights
"Mexico City policy" prohibits U.S. funding of some foreign family-planning groups
It was begun by Reagan, canceled by Clinton, reinstated by Bush
Order comes one day after Roe v. Wade anniversary

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wiffle Ball, Bad Poetry and Who Is Our President?

Besides the great expense attributed to the inauguration, bad reviews (1, 2, 3) of the inaugural poem by bloggers and magazines alike, Barack Obama added a new asterisk to his name when he flubbed the oath. His flubbing was not his alone, as Chief Justice John Roberts sent him in the wrong direction.

So he did a do-over. We used to do those playing Wiffle Ball in the backyard, when a play was in question (Mrs. Kirk's garage were most often the cause, with interesting bounces off the roof). It safeguarded the quality of the forthcoming plays, especially the final score.

No one really thought Obama was not president, but technically, there may be debate. Was George W Bush still in charge even though it was past noon by the time the oath was started (it is supposed to happen simultaneously)? If so, did this bristle the hackles of Bushaters (grace, they say, is for Obama, not for them)? Was Joe Biden president, after having by successfully sworn in a few minutes before? Did Dick Cheney's wife call, and ask if she could still eat lunch at the White House?

Ultimately, the oath is all pomp and circumstance, as was the rest of the day's fanfare. Barack Obama, no doubt, would rather skip all of the 'praise for the day' silliness and get right into resolving our economy, war and choosing a White House dog. Really. Serious stuff going on, and, as big parties are new to inaugurations during wartime, Obama probably felt forced into all of it by his handlers.

If a national crisis existed during the inauguration, Obama would have been called. If we went to war, or our jobless percentage increased, or a gay man needed to get married, of course Barack Obama would be asked to decide.

Obama retakes oath of office
President Obama retakes the presidential oath out of "an abundance of caution." » Find out why

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Barack Obama T-shirts

prices may have changed (for the better)

Barack Obama 2008 President T-shirtsIn a desire to be an equal opportunity blogger, after posting a lot of pro-Hillary campaign materials, I though posting some Barack Obama campaign t-shirts might be in order.

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday, as he delivered it.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

A Smoker in the Big House

I'm all for Obama smoking. He'll do more to restore RJ Reynolds than Bush could ever do. We need an advocate in the White House showing the world you can be fit and smoke. Smoking should be, and is, bipartisan entertainment. Men, women, old and young.

If McCain won, what a disaster! Sarah Palin runs marathons. Her health kick would continue to ruin the simple pleasure of sitting with a beer and a smoke while watching the game. Who wants a stick like her?

Obama's got kids, and they know he smokes responsibly. He's a good example, so when they decide to light up when they are 15 or 16, they'll be careful and choose only American smokes. Hopefully, he'll be able to curtail all that anti-tobacco crap the schools are feeding kids. Leave morality out of schools.

Everyone starts in high school. It is no big deal. Growing up with a smoker will strengthen their lungs, ready for every environment. Washington has pollution, but they'll be able to handle it.

This is a great day for freedom - for smokers - everywhere.

President Obama - It is Official

Barack Obama is the president. Some are jumping with joy, others dread the next four years. Either way, it is all Barack Obama.


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Keeping Costs Down, Obama's Inauguration Will Only Be 3.5 Times as Costly

Noting an economy sorely in need of belt tightening, Barack Obama's leadership has decided to keep down inauguration costs to a mere $150 million, just over 350% of what George W Bush spent.

The reasoning is, "Since I'm pulling the troops out of the Iraqi democracy project, I have extra money, or, rather, I will soon enough. Pay it forward, I say.

More than $150 million — and yep, that's the most expensive ever. (By comparison, George W. Bush's 2005 inauguration cost $42.3 million. Bill Clinton managed with $33 million in 1993.)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Barack Obama's Biggest Problem

As we all know, Barack Obama's biggest problem is being the Barack Obama he has let others make him. He, of course, is the real Barack Obama, not the woodcut sliced from the imaginations of many (not all) of his flock.

You've the thrill seekers, the ones who love to be on a winning team, no matter what the candidate believes. They cheered when George Bush talked tough against bin Laden, but squirmed when Bush followed it up with action. They'll be sorry when Obama likewise reads all those secret reports on the bad guys and thinks, "Uh oh, I can't let that happen," and reinforces troops.

There is the crowd feels bad that being prolife means, to protect the baby's right to live, the mother's right to choose must take second place. With Obama, everyone's body wins (except for the baby's body, which gets tossed in a dumpster next to a cancerous piece of liver). No worries for them, since they probably voted for John Kerry.

You have the "he's black, and that's good enough for me," despite that the voter is actually conservative. They will be disappointed eventually.

Even the liberals will be mad, though, they prefer, "pissed off." Obama, despite looking like the most pro-gay, pro-abortion president we'll ever have, is also going to try to do his job intelligently, which entails not kowtowing to Planned Parenthood, NOW, Act-Up, and other special interest groups. If he does, he knows these groups will be, to him, no different that George Bush and oil.

Meanwhile, there's the media, largely pro-Obama. If all they do is publish are "I feel a thrill running up my leg" stories, they'll lose straight and intelligent readers. Obama looks clean, and dirt-free - and I hope he stays that way. Just the same, shady characters no doubt will infest the White House, affiliated with him. He'll be at fault by default, even if he had no knowledge of the matter. What happens then?

I hope he remains clean, leads well, and somehow reduces the deaths of soldiers (Iraqi, American, Palestinian, Israeli) and unborn babies.