Executive Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Cindy 'Pizza Mom' Sheehan Protests Rose Bowl, Hits on George Bush

At great odds with the aggressive style of football between two of America's top universities, Cindy Sheehan has joined a throng of anti-footballians to protest this year's Rose Bowl.

Tournament of Roses President CL Keedy responded to Pizza Mom Sheehan by saying, "Her own son played football, but was tackled. Sad? We think so too. This America's great sport of warriors, and he was not much on the field. We understand he was cut from the practice team in junior high. Humiliating? Yes, but football is not for bench warmers."

Sheehan argued that if she could just meet with Keedy, she could explain to him to errors of football. She camped out for a few weeks in front of his office, but Keedy wasn't there. He was watching the Rose Bowl cheerleaders in his 'secret place'.

"If controversy like this diminishes the positive impact of the Rose Parade, it would be of concern," Pasadena Mayor Bill Bogaard said. He continued, "But who is kidding who here is Cindy. We know she's just trying to scare up some tickets any way she can. Her bookie suggested if she was at the game, the other team, the one she is betting against, might lose."

Anne Coulter piped in, "Cindy can have my tickets. The University of Illinois has asked me to suit up, and those liberal University of Southern California Trojans are a bunch of pansies. I'm a Fighting Illini now, baby."

George Bush was asked about his thoughts of Cindy's participation in this protest.

"Cindy and me. We go way back. Not as far back as Bill and Monica, but she wanted to jump my bones back at Crawford, TX," said George.

"See, now, Laura and I aren't into that kind of thing. Just because Jenna and Barbara are living on the wild side doesn't mean Laura and me swing that way. We're United Methodists, you know, and we're conservative.

"But, hey, I'm a compassionate conservative. I think my buddy Dick Cheney is around, and he's said he thinks Cindy's pretty hot. He's into wrinkly mommas."

Anti-war and human rights activists to protest at Rose parade

Rose Parade

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