Nobel Prize, Anyone? Barack Obama Accepts Prize Before Job is Done

Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. When his people submitted his name to The Committee, they never expected he would win. They just wanted him to look like a peaceful politician. They wanted to market him as the antiBush. Winning presents a problem. Very rarely does the winner stand with so much conviction as to reject the award, and Obama took the prize humbly.

He knows he has not earned anything yet. We are still at war in the Middle East, fully intending to send more troops. He is no pacifist, much to the chagrin of many of his followers. Rather, he sees what Bush saw: a messy problem requiring a messy solution. Unlike Bush, Obama is working hard to present timelines for pullout, and the proof there will happen or not. Hopefully, our troops will be pulled from harm's way soon. Hopefully the job will be done. If not, Obama, in accepting the Nobel Prize today, will have an awkward situation. No doubt careful responses to the war-peace paradox, especially as he gives his speech which will be published across the internet (OK, except for China, North Korea and Iran, three countries dreadfully afraid of free speech.)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8406023.stm

Barack Obama Rejects the Nobel Peace Prize (repost)

In a brief, but eloquent speech, President Barack Obama turns down the esteemed Nobel Peace Prize.

Realizing the award's intrinsic deficiencies that ruined the musical career of U2 front man and 2008 winner Bono, who ever after turned out songs no one liked, and of Yasser Arafat. Arafat, famously peaceful and anti-military until his 1994 award, but then turned into a warmongering beast. The President wisely knew he was not capable of pressing through the tests such an award can offer. He was not as strong as Jimmy Carter, also a US president, who accepted the award in 2002, and since then has always said the right thing.

The President recognized he was not being awarded by just the Nobel committee, but a vast legion of interspatial congregation of lords.

"Lord Lightyear, Lord Spock, Lord Mork, Lord Jar Jar, and Lord Kal-El, I am honored. Citizens of the universe and of that vague place called heaven, I cannot in good faith accept this cherished prize so long as we are at war, and so long as the Peace Mother lives."

He then whispered something in Neptunian to indicate his oneness with the universe, "No-Salami Yukkum", meaning: "Peace be upon plants and animals, who are our gods." It was also an acknowledgement to the universal commission for the ethical treatment of plant life. Up until the Obama Administration, the vegan and vegetarian community, teamed up insidiously with the evil omnivorians, terrorized the vegetable world, methodical ripping plant life from their native land and devouring them. Then, a quiet mineral eater spoke with a loud voice, "Remember the lichen," and protests ensued, almost destroying all life in the known interplanetary stellar regions. The President's nod continued as he celebrated his prize rejection by lifting up a glass of purified hydrogen-oxygen drink and breaking nutrient bread, a tasty nitrogen bar dipped in a carbonic sauce.