Executive Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Barack Obama, a Liberal Man's George W Bush: A cowboy without a hat, he wears a mitre.

POPE HAT VELOURConstitutional expert and definer Barack Obama, America's current president, is moving forward with speed toward his health care initiative. It is, of course, his Iraq War. Just as cowboy George pushed the Iraq War on a a public which did not exactly understand, Barack is pushing the health care project.

Just like Iraq, a real threat is before us. With Iraq, we looked at terrorism, now vanquished thanks to Barack's excellent negotiating skills. We were scared and stupid. "Crucify them!" we cried, trading the Barabbas of Truth for the Christ of the Middle East. And crucify them we did, not matter how innocent they were. But thankfully, Barack was chosen by the college of blue birds. With the signal of blue smoke, they announced his elevation, and now, troubles no more. Can I hear a sweet amen from his pews?

Here we are now with another looming disaster, but Barack is here, thank God. He has seen their corruption, their malfeasance, their evil. With health care in disarray, ready to topple Washington DC, a new cowboy has ridden into town. Like George W. Bush, he does not need to work bilaterally, but has an agenda that American must have, lest in fall to the the health terrorist. Free markets have gone on long enough, and need wrangling and slaughtering.

As the Constitution so clearly demands, health care is the right of all, Father B as we lovingly like to think of him, has touched this and is healing America. The Constitution declares: Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and health care to be provided by the people for the people at the expense of the people. A tear in my eye is welling up. Please. I need a moment to salute those blessed words as I type.

Rev. George only looked at Iraq. He, never now to become Pope, did not know what to do with health care. His priorities were short-sighted, incapable of caring for his flock. As such, he only served eight years in office, having been merely elected and not chosen.

In St. Washington's Basilca, Father B. speaks from the chair, and has said that he will do whatever is necessary to ensure health care. The Republicans, or as he refers to them, "separated brethren," will deter him no longer. He is working now to institute Slaughter House Rules (Mother Pelosi is assisting), which will assist him in pushing bills not even the great John Kerry dreamed of in the Crusades of 2004.

Tears run still from my eyes. I know now my sins of trusting the corporate insurance companies. How did I dare think they were good? Why did I let them exist? Why did our forefathers miss the inalienable right of health care? Roosevelt? Truman? Dear lords, how, how, how!

George W., you have failed us, though, like your predecessors, you were only human. Repent, and thank God with us that Father B. is here to hear our prayers.

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